What Does It Mean To Be Sad?

Is sadness really the feeling of feeling sorrow and unhappy. Some people eat when they are sad and some starve. Do you get that feeling of nausea? Every time you think of what made you sad you feel this horrible sickness. Sadness can also be an uncontrollable inner pain. You feel as though your body's battery is slowly dying and your desperately trying to find a new life support. Does this pain ever go away or do we hide it so well that we forget it was even there. People get sad for all sorts of reasons. Not hitting a weight goal, getting in a fight or argument with a family member or friend, and losing someone you really love. Some people say distractions can divert your sadness and some just do it the old fashion way and drink until they drop. I know eventually our frown gets turned upside down. But for the time being you feel like time goes by so slowly and you wish you can push fast forward on that blue remote control. Pain is gain and time heals all wounds. We will always love you Willie.

The Ugly Side of Pretty

So I was reading this article on perezhilton and it was about a woman that got fired for being to hot. I guess her boss found her to attractive that he felt it was in his best interest to fire her. To top it off an Iowa judge agreed with the firing. The woman worked there for 10 years. What is this world coming to? I swear some people make me sick. She gets penalized for being attractive. Maybe this disgusting boss of hers needs to learn self control. The crazy part is that his wife suggested the firing. What she needed to do was kick her husband to the curb. I really hope that this woman finds some type of justice. To all the self conscious men and women out there. Do not treat good looking people like shit. It's not their fault that they were born good looking and you weren't. Stop the hate and join the love.

This Needs To Stop

I just heard about the elementary shooting. There is so much I want to say right now but am so upset that its blurring my train of thought. Ive said it before and I say it now that criminals need to be punished to the full extent of the law. If this country was more harsh on their criminals then perhaps these sick criminals would think twice before committing these awful crimes. Every time I say this someone says but who am I to judge and who I am I to say that someone should get the death penalty. Sometimes I wish we could live in a society where hanging someone was the conclusion to a harsh and heinous crime. People defend criminals because its not their children that died today. We need to stand strong as a nation and stop these criminals when we have a chance. I have to go because I am really upset right now.

Lost 8 Pounds

After almost two weeks of my vegan misery I managed to lose 8 pounds. I'm starting to feel better as the days go by. Its always hard to stick to a new way of eating when you first start. But as time goes by your body becomes accustomed to your new changes. Well I'm not gonna lie and say that I am 100% happy with the diet. I would say that I am at a 70%. I hope that by the time my diet is over I would have taught my mind how to eat healthy. I plan on continuing this healthier way of eating. I cant go back now, Ive invested to much time and money. Plus losing weight definitely did not hurt the cause. I posted a video I did three days ago. As you can tell my mood is starting to improve. I still miss those freaking Hot Cheetos. I'm not gonna lie to you guys, but that is the first thing I will eat when my diet is over.

Week Two

Wish I could sound more enthusiastic in my videos. I really try but I come out looking and sounding like a total downer. Well hopefully my mood and facial expressions improve because I'm looking like a total butt in my videos. Sorry for the music, I had Queen playing. Nothing but awesomeness. By the way if you know any veggie meals please let me know. I would greatly appreciate it.

Kinda Freaked Him Out

So I am just sitting in my room watching the LA CO game. The all of a sudden I start seeing meteor shower look alike lights all over my room. Each light was about an inch long. Of course I start freaking out and turning in circles. My boyfriend gets so scared that it makes him mad. Poor guy I freaked him out so bad. Man Ive never seen anything like it. I hope it ain't a sign of bad health. If anyone knows what it might be, please let me know. This definitely gave me the chills.

Losing My Sanity

This suffering, this wanting to eat junk food just makes me think of how trained our society is into liking food that is no good for you. If I ever knew what an addicted person felt like when giving up an addiction, then I think this is how it feels. I think about unhealthy food every minute of the day.

Dont Mind Me

I just finished doing this video about 20 minutes ago. I was still in zombie mode. This journey has been really hard for me. I'm craving everything I am not allowed to have. I pray everyday to stay strong and to fight any greasy temptation.

A Day Late

Well I recorded this yesterday while having lunch with my annoying boyfriend and cool sister Angelica.

First Day

Yesterday was my first day of my all veggie and fruit diet. Its a 30 day challenge. Well I call it a challenge but its actually a way to cleanse my body from toxins it may have. Well I'm not gonna lie, I'm already suffering. Well my food selections suck and I'm so hungry for fatty foods. First day was horrible. To top it off I'm working out like a man person. Well I'm gonna try my best to stick to it, it could only get worse from here. By the way I smell like vegetables, its gross. I did a video yesterday, Ill try and upload it.

Writer's Block

I have so much to say but I cant find the right words to write down. Everything seems to make no sense. Its like I know what I want to say but when I read it out loud it sounds horrible. The only thing I can write right now is my book. But I cant write my entries here because I'm not done with the book. Hopefully this dry spell ends soon. If not I'm gonna have to stick to webcam videos and you know how that goes. The look and sound of the last one I made was horrible. Now that I am thinking about it, its obviously not that dry if I'm writing now. Did I make any sense? Who knows, well I made sense to myself. For my wonderful friends who follow me, thanks. You keep my craziness going. Love ya!

Hey My Cool Following Me Friends

Just here watching the San Francisco Detroit game. Thinking of all the things I have experienced in my 26 years of living. Ive been through some things that only seem to happen in movies. Ive probably lived more than an 80 year old person. Life has taught me some really good and bad lessons. For those who live an ordinary life, I don't envy you. I may not be satisfied with everything that I do, but I am happy that I am still living. By living, I mean I'm still exploring the world like a kid explores his sandbox. The point is that we all need to start living. Whether that be to try something new, do something you haven't done in a while, or do something that is out of your comfort zone. I understand that people have jobs, husbands, wives, kids, dogs, and so one. That doesn't mean that your life is over or that you'll never do something exciting or life fulfilling ever again. No matter what, as long as I am breathing I will continue to live each day like it were to be my last.

Some Of My Likes

Red Cabbage

So I keep failing all my diets and exercises. I seem to be stuck in the same greasy spot. Its like I'm surrounded by huge brick walls that don't allow me to escape this greasy fat tasteful food. Well I'm trying my best to cook healthy food. I decided to cook broccoli, red cabbage, and soyrizo. It was actually good. But I couldn't eat it all. Its like my stomach doesn't have enough room for healthy food. By the way why is it called red cabbage, when its clearly purple.

Over Medium

I like FOOD, I like Denny's. Me and my man decided to take a before and after of the food we ate, we didn't include the cheese sticks we ate. All I have to say is that it was bomb. We enjoyed every bite. To top it off the service was great. Nothing better than a good meal and great service. By the way everything was pescatarian friendly.

Try Hulu, Well I like it

So I'm just gonna get to the point, when I was younger my mom would take me and my sister to Mexicali every summer. We would stay at my aunt's house. I would always watch Dragon Ball Z. The weird part was that is was always in Japanese. The funny part was that I actually understood the language. Well as the years past by I totally grew out of it. I no longer watched Dragon Ball Z and I no longer understood Japanese. Well the coolest thing happened to me a while back; a church member told me about Hulu. Well it turns out that it shows manga series for free. I have no idea why I didn't know about this sooner. Well I decided to go on it yesterday and well let me tell you, I couldn't stop watching. It totally brought back all those cool childhood memories. Well if you have time and you are into it then check it out.

Making the Rookie Mistake

I decided to play fantasy football this year. Its my first year. I managed to draft great players. The mistake I did was that I doubted all my good players and started the wrong people. My bench almost doubled the points that my starters got. First week was a total bust. From now on I start everyone that played bench this week and only play my first week starters on bye weeks. Anyways I'm new and I wasn't expecting any beginners luck. Plus its a learning experience for me, its not like I'm playing for money. I am gonna admit I'm pretty competitive, so losing always takes a blow to my ego. I guess you can call me a sore loser. Next week can only get better. On the bright side, the 49ers spanked some ass, so I'm happy!!!!

Gosh I Love It

What gives you peace? What gives you beauty with no mistakes? What takes your breath away? Many would say my child or significant other. Well you want to know what takes my breath away? Nature. By nature I mean trees, grass, plants, rocks, water and dirt. I LOVE everything about it. The sound that the trees make when they move, the way some rocks shine more than others, the different types of plants and trees, and how blue the water looks when the sun shines its light on it. Everything about it is beautiful. I get so much from every hike I take. My connection with nature is indescribable. Its out of this world. LOVE IT!!

Try It!

Hey guys, haven't wrote in a bit because I had no Internet, but its back, don't know for how long. But anyways, thought I share this wonderful recipe I tried about a month ago. If your into trying new things and want to expand your palate, then try this. Don't want to put the recipe up because it would be a rip off from my part, but I can tell you what ingredients it has. Fresh mango, purple onion, red and green bell pepper, virgin olive oil, salt and pepper, cilantro, and lime.

Life Is Too Too Short

While I sat alone in church at my friend's memorial, I started thinking about life. I started thinking about my life and how I don't spend as much time with my friends. I started wondering why I lost connection with so many people, these are people that have been in my life so many years. I started to think about possible reasons until I realized that their shouldn't be any excuse as to why. I guess each individual grows differently as we age, we start liking different things, we pick up new hobbies, we listen to different music, we start working. But are all these differences a big enough reason to lose a connection with your friends? At the end of the day I realized that differences are just differences, its not a big enough reason to stop hanging out or calling those who were once your close friends. I'm making it my effort to regain some of those friendships. My success on regaining those friendships may be low but its definitely worth the try. So come on guys, put your pride and time to the side and pick up your phones or surprise them at home. Whats the worst that can happen, they don't pick up, they are not home, or they don't open the door(worst case scenario). Life is too short to lose a friend. I wish I can go back in time and spend more time with my friend, now that chance is gone. You have the chance to see them one last time, talk to them one last time, touch them one last time, don't let that chance slip away.(of course i am missing a lot of my friends in the pics, if your not in my picture list then it means the picture we took was before downloading was popular, haha)

The Pre Bucket List

Well I was thinking the other day of ways to better fulfill my life. Don't get me wrong, I have a gorgeous boyfriend who I love very much, a crazy but cool family, and I couldn't ask for better friends. But there is more to life than the things I just mentioned. So I thought, wouldn't it be a great idea to make a pre bucket list before my actual bucket list. Well I thought it would be a great idea to create a list of things I want to accomplish, learn, or do before I am 30 years old. What a lot of people don't know about me is that I am a very open minded individual. So give it a try people. Who knows, by the end of this chapter you just might see life in a completely different way. So come on people start living.

Fight the Real Crime

I wanted to talk about something very interesting that happened in my neighborhood, but before I do so I want to talk a little bit about my neighborhood. Well I don't live in the best neighborhood in San Bernardino. I live in what many call the ghetto. Well my neighborhood is surrounded by criminals, to put it lightly. Well the other day the cops decided to stop a Mexican woman and her son that were selling chicharrones. Just take into account that this is how the woman makes a living and she gets no government help. Well the two cops that stopped her gave her a $40 dollar ticket, they took away all of her merchandise, and left her with a bag of chicharrones for her son. Well that's what the cop said to the lady. I don't know about you guys but isn't there better things to do as a cop then to stop a poor lady that is trying to make a living. To top it off the cop tells the lady that she needs to change profession and she needed to get on welfare. WHAT? I think that this whole scenario was ridiculous. By the way this is not the first time the woman gets a ticket. I guess everyone's tax money is paying for the cops to stop people who are trying to survive the right way. Many will argue that she doesn't pay taxes. But look at it this way she is giving back to the economy. She is spending her money on food, she more than likely pays for house rent which also helps the economy, and I'm pretty sure she spends her money on her kids. All the money she makes when she sell chicharrones is going all back into the economy somehow. So why are we stopping this poor lady?Let me tell you why because the government is greedy and wants a piece of everything. Oh by the way today a cop was confiscating the fruit man.

Doubled Eggs

I remember telling my niece a couple months ago how I always discover a double yolk in most eggs that I cook. I get two for the price of one. She didn't believe me so I decided to take some pictures while I cooked some eggs. That week I was lucky and found three eggs with double yolk. I always wanted to know if that meant twins. Who knows, but if someone happens to find out let me know please.

Prayer!

So I was thinking of how important prayer is why its important to never lose your faith. Well many people fall victims of tragedy and through those obstacles one tends to lose faith in God. We think, well if God really loved me this wouldn't happen to me. Well let me tell you something, God never gives up one you, the problem is that we give up on him. If you have lost that connection with God, its not too late to rekindle that friendship. For those who have other Gods, that is wonderful too. The point is to try to find your center no matter how far out you are. Hey, I'm not perfect and I myself have lost faith and have also been angry with God. At the end of the day we are all human and God understands that. So pray because when you least expect it God will surprise you with all your wishes.

Recap My Friends

Okay, so guys I know I told you I am trying a ancient diet I once made up when I was in high school. Well let me tell you that its going according to plan. So far so good, I'm not that hungry and I could say I have lost some weight. The weight of course will not be so noticeable due to the fact that its not a lot of pounds that I lost. No one really notices a 5-10 pound weight loss especially if your as big as I am. Well for those who are also trying to shed some extra weight, keep up the good work, don't give up, stay strong, and by summer you might be able to wear that bikini that has been stored for 5 years.

Moving On

So while I packed up my bags, I decided to play a little game I call dress up. I let my boyfriend Cristian pick the theme. We decided that chola loca would be the best option. Dressing like this brought back so many memories of my sisters. I was so little back then but from what I could remember they had a big mustache, super high hair, and those beautiful brown chola loca lips. Your welcome to share your memories and any pictures you might have. Enjoy!

Back On Track

Well we all know that I have trying to get my high school figure back for a while. But the challenge has been harder then I thought. I have tried so many ways to lose weight but give up if I don't see results in two weeks. So I have decided to take on an old approach. I will try it for a while and see if it works. If my old approach is successful I will share with you my secret. Haven't tried to lose weight this way since high school. Now don't get any ideas its nothing crazy. But I don't want to post what it is and fail. Wish me luck, now its time to take that short cut.

I Have So Many

I came up with the most interesting theory. I will write about it shortly.

So Far, I Have Been RIGHT!!

I remember telling everyone that the 49ers would make the playoffs with their division won. That conversation usually followed with the 49ers making the Superbowl. So far I have been completely right with my predictions. I also called the fact that the 49ers would play their first playoff game against the Saints. I didn't want to write this down thinking it might jinx them. But I figured if I'm right and I don't write it down I will regret it. So I am here now telling everyone with confidence that the 49ers will surprise everyone and go to the Superbowl and win by 4 points.

Avocado Face

                              

I started the new face mask on Monday January 2nd. I mixed half an avocado and one egg in a bowl. I made sure I mixed it until the eggs had a foam look to it. I found this recipe from many online sources. The success rate for this recipe was substantially high. I will apply the avocado mask every Monday and Thursday for the next month. If I do not see any results I will continue on my search for the perfect face mask. I hope this mask that does me wonders. All of these home made recipes come from natural grown ingredients.